Wednesday, December 08, 2004


Women and SUVs

Women and SUVs
This is a report from the Women's Studies department at Swarthmore and sheds some light into why so many women are working out their life frustrations in their mammoth death machines. Some excerpts:

"The bigger the car the better. This size also allows a person, no matter what their size to feel big and powerful."

"the elevated position that the SUV puts the driver in allows them to look down on all of the people who are driving in cars around them"

"Is it a question of women having the same God-given right to be road-hogging, gas-guzzling, accident-causing, environment-polluting assholes that men can be?"

The answer is yes...but they can justify their obnoxious behavior as being "for da chyldrun" (as if it's of actual benefit to the brats in the back seat, or any hapless small fry whose paths those SUVs happen to cross).

I'm a woman driver myself, and I have very little nice to say about other drivers of my sex. Usually it's because they're so damned timid behind the wheel -- and the same timid ones seem to think they have a right to drive far to the left. "The left lanes are for passing, not for speeding!" (imaginary waggling of finger)

Well, dim-bulb, if you're going to be creeping along in the second-to-left lane at 55 mph, damn straight I'm going to swoosh by you in the lane to your left.

The scariest woman in an SUV I've ever encountered was on I-495 southbound, between about I-95 and Rte. 126 (Massachusetts) one morning on my way to work. It was a young chickie, in a BMW SUV, who was chatting on her cellphone (sah-PRIZE!), crawling along in the second-to-left lane. I blew my horn. No response. So I then zipped in front of her without signaling (yeah, I know, my bad).

She then flashed her high-beams at me several times. I was annoyed enough to flip her off. I immediately wished I hadn't done that, because she (probably without hanging up) ZOOMED! right in front of me, and tried to prevent me from passing her for the next few miles.

When I finally managed to pass, I blew my horn and glared angrily at her as I drove by. She took both hands off the wheel and waggled them around in the air as if to imply I were a spaz.

Fortunately, I had my cellphone with me. When I reported her to the Staties, the cop on the other end said, "Well, she's in an SUV. A *BMW* SUV, no less. She can do what she wants, right?"
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